The Method of Kadir-Buxton

The following is dedicated to the wonderful world of Andrew Kadir-Buxton of whom you may read more of here

So, Mr Kadir-Buxton,
you say a punch in the head will cure your mental sickness,
just like genetic inbreeding causes thickness.
You say a stun to the head resets the brain
to restore the insane to normality.
Like your kind of normal, you mean?
About as normal as a florescent jellybean.
So if I make a fist of both hands
and strike both ears of the mental man at exactly the same time
with the soft part of my hand
he will be miraculously cured
in the face of psychological laws?
Scientific endeavour may cease all its existence,
for a punch in the head with ones fist is
just what we lack.
Bloody quack.

And you say it’s a fact the procedure is painless,
just like a colostomy is to the anus,
and the less force that is used
the quicker consciousness ensues
after you wallop them
on the cerebrum.
Well, no shit.
Knocking out your participant
for only half a minute
is indeed more than a bit significant,
if you have a patient that likes paying for masochistic enlightenment,
although it’s probably cheaper at Madame Van der Kemp’s licensed establishment.
Of course, which you repudiate.

And indeed you may elucidate
the difference that does discriminate
between a stun and a punch by prosing that
with your method, using a caveat
that the patient who stands on one leg
whilst holding a rose at the tip of the head
would still be holding a rose whilst on one leg
when they are cured,
as opposed to having dropped the rose on the floor
when met with a mere punch
for which their head would remain flawed.
You think I should try it myself if I think you’re a fraud?
Are you offering?

It is a shame that your quaffering
can not end the suffering
of the manic depressive
or bulimic anorexic
which, as you pronounce, are caused by some sort of trauma
or emotional disorder.
And it is sound advice
you should only smack a rape victim twice
in case they must recount estranged 2D imagery to the judiciary.
And twice for the peados
to cure their kiddie-licking libidos,
and once more if you decide
you’d rather they commit suicide.
But you must exercise caution
with the psychopathic distortion
because if they’re not thinking of what you’re curing
they might be cured of something else.
Otherwise we could cure yourself,
couldn’t we?

Not scared are you of perjury
with your claim you invented bottle banks and microsurgery
and can reverse global warming with economy 7.
Can you prove the existence of heaven?
Because, you see,
your god like geniosity
is just ironical hypocrisy
and the world laughs as you preposterously
claim public reciprocity
for your humanitarian development
in cranial decent.
Let me take your drug addict dependencies
with alcoholic tendencies
and let us put an end to this
embarrassing event.
For I believe mental deficiency
could be cured quite proficiently
with some chronic violent dysentery
whilst standing on one leg.

So, please, hold this rose,
strike a thrusted groinal pose,
and we will collectively, unrepentantly punch you on your head.


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