As the months are getting colder, you are yet another year older,
I do indeed congratulate you on getting that bit mouldier.
I would like to thank you for the years of putting ear worms in my ears,
and thanks is due for what you do that brings us joy and sometimes tears.
We all agree we’d love to watch you wee and calm your feet when you’re angry.
In our canvas bags we’d carry you gladly when you lose control and your pants are manky.
May your ninja always be ginger and your asterisk always spell c**t.
May your nerd always rock with virginal cock, and you wit never become blunt.
I wish you bounteous wine and lots of laughs, and plenty more cracks and photographs.
Here’s to you, hope your day is not poo.
Happy birthday, Mr Tim, to you.