Idiots and retards, scroungers and chippies,
Bellends and fuckwits, blind perverts named Billy,
Chavs with nicked trainers, slags dressed in belts,
Usually with names slightly misspelt.
Morons and cockheads, cuntbags and scrotes,
Dick heads and shitheads, microphallical blokes,
Orange faced gypsies with horse drawn weddings,
This is my turdified city of things.
Lazy, fat wankers and slubberdegullions,
Troglodyte goblins sat in nail salons,
Frenchified arsewipes, white shirts with guts,
Westgate run tartettes wafting their muffs.
Nutters and numpties, psychos on buses,
Jermentous defected; dead people with pulses,
Bulbously challenged, airheads with prams,
Barnacled to this somnolent land.
Mulleted inbreds and ignorant fools,
Intellectually rivalled by garden tools,
Slobbering helminths, lickspittle oiks,
Begging for fags and polishing their Nikes.
Metalled up lasses with corpulent asses,
Senescent lax ladies with broken back chassis,
Naifs who are scoring, skanks dressed in bling,
Accompany my town, with a whiff of urine.
To the top the cream rises. So does the scum.
Any dog can choose carpet for itching its bum.
In the land of the witless, the half-wit is king.
Ruler of pound shops and deep fat frying.