All I want to do is buy some pants. This is the only time of year I even consider doing such things, buying pants for others. I have a limited amount of time to purchase said pants. The pants deadline. Who would have thought it would be such a difficult task to accomplish? I have spent half an hour looking for the correct pants, then finding they’re not in stock, so having to look for other similar pants, that will be posted within this country so that it doesn’t take till next year to arrive. I have even got to the point of checking out from this online pants hellhole, when a small note to the side of my chosen pants said ‘no longer in stock,’ such was the complex process that led to my pants filled virtual shopping basket. In short, buying pants online is pants.

And so the ridiculousness of December begins. I bet it wouldn’t be this hard to buy pants in January, or even February for that matter. In fact, I bet the person I’m buying the pants for would appreciate receiving such items ANY TIME OF YEAR, not just in December. In fact, I bet it would seem like a more sincere gesture if I bought the pants for no other reason than I wanted to, because I genuinely care about their pants situation and want to help, because I thought about them and their pants randomly, rather than the current situation where I HAVE TO buy pants because the dictates of an archaic system exploited by the capitalist rulers of the western world states I must buy pants in December, before the pants deadline.

I have pressed the X in the top right corner, and resign myself to the fact today is not the day to buy pants.

This is part one of my twelve hates of XMoose. More to follow.


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