Today I have noticed the kink between the multiverses.
Yesterday I noticed an abundance of wall sitting cats. I concluded it must have been their AGM, where they share intelligence on walls and their various attributes, prime spots, with good pouncing cover, etc.
But that was only the beginning of the phenomenon. I put it down to just noticing them, my brain having decided it was a ‘thing’ (It does that). But there is a definite increase in wall based cat doings. And they noticed that I noticed, and I noticed that they’d noticed I’d noticed. Etc.
My doppelgänger tried to carry out Evil Plan 2.1 (a) by taking out my 2D self and replacing me with a 70 year old version who would then sabotage this universe’s me’s 2D friends and thusly take over the whole multiverse by inciting a 3D (actual world) riot via a joystick of words. They have since been eliminated by the Forces of Facespaz. For now.
Some mysterious ladders have appeared in my back garden (not a euphemism).
They were not there yesterday, and though the note shoved through the letterbox says he’s been today the window cleaner has not appeared all day (detailed surveillance notes available). Even so, why would he leave his ladders and not return? I’ve checked for fallen bodies: Negative.
In conclusion, the cat revolution is working in collaboration with the multiverse’s mes to send this me (the me me) into mental meltdown so that I am confined to a duvet covered room (shed, please) until I expire. THAT’S how much of a threat this me is! Who knows why? Until then, I have recruited two renegade pussies, using covert opposable thumb blackmail, as informants, and will be keeping well away from any blackholes.